The thoughts of what I am going to write down here was screaming through my mind like a de-railed train
Violent, destructive, deadly yet all seems so much in slow motion. I am feeling dizzy, I am not thinking straight. I feel like I have gulped down a handful of pills and flying a mile high. The total equilibrium of my sanity seems nothing but in utter chaos.
Where I am, where am I going.... where did I come from.. all seems nothing but hallucination. But then again, it's all seems a strange thought when you sit back and think about it.. one by one......one by one.....
Am I in dire love or deadly pain ?., or is it just a passing attraction which causes all these turmoils to bubble inside of me. In part, my self esteem and pride is taking a nose dive..... after all these years of treading this earth undaunted, how come one woman made me so unstable?
Or the point I am missing all this time is... did I find a Human being to talk too....rather than the stone walls I have made a close courtship of feelings all this time.?
Of all this time.. I only got one word that echoes throughout day and night... "Let time Solve things" ... for which I am waiting with one line circling through my mind .... " So close...yet So far"
And I find my self everyday dialing an international number.........then disconnecting.... and thinking of all the ways I can make my fingers numb !!!!!
and my mind NUMB as well.....if I can.... I wish I can...